This is the 47th installment of a 100-day challenge to write a new vignette every morning.
Smokey the Bear secretly started the fires. One man’s arson is another man’s job security.
The Forest Service had begun to phase out “live” appearances of Smokey at educational events. Fire safety just wasn’t as glamorous as live-animal presentations. The kids didn’t care.
So Smokey—Benny—set out to make everyone care. He had student loans to pay and a degree collecting dust. If the fires got enough attention, he’d keep his job.
On the other hand, if the whole damn forest burned down, he wouldn’t have to wear the stupid bear head anymore. Either way, he thought, he’d win. What could go wrong?
When the real park ranger caught him holding an empty can of gasoline, he realized his mistake. In polite societies—and even impolite societies like this one—arson was a little bit of a crime and therefore a little bit punishable. He hadn’t worried about it before, but he’d underestimated the Forest Service, apparently. (Maybe that’s what happens when an institution is represented by an animal that uses trees to scratch its back.)
Ultimately, though, Benny did win; he’d never have to wear that bear head again.
Miles Away 