It’s been a while since I’ve presented macaroni art to my mom, and yet, that’s how I felt yesterday. I sent my manuscript to a friend to get some honest feedback before I head back into the lions’ den start querying agents again (“Again?” you may ask—more on that later). As some of you may remember from my first post, I took a break from my YA novel last month to revitalize my writing and get some much-needed distance from my current project. This past weekend, after not letting myself even look at the manuscript for 30 days, I did a final (okay, well, semi-final) read and some last-minute edits. Then, after almost two years of not letting anyone look at it, I sent the manuscript to a trusted pair of fresh eyes.

This, of course, comes with all sorts of anxieties: What if it’s not ready? What if it’s not any good? What if I’ve somehow been writing gibberish for years and she opens it to find pages and pages of unintelligible nonsense?

Admittedly, some of these concerns are more valid than others, but they’re all there. Such is the life of an aspiring author, right? Or an aspiring anything, I suppose. When you work toward something, really work toward something, it can be difficult to open yourself up to scrutiny and judgment. But, I guess, we all have to take that chance at some point in our lives.

For me, sending the manuscript to a friend is just one small step toward taking that chance, like showing macaroni art to a parent before relinquishing it to the teacher.

I’ll keep you posted as the publication quest progresses, and if I did, in fact, send off pages and pages of unintelligible nonsense, you, internet stranger, will be the first to know.